Morning is come peace, I’ve been awake and drink my coffee on the bench. I seen so many peace out there, see the beautiful sky even smile with me but I guess I will just going to be miserable like every single day.

Well, got in the morning, I have to think about what to prepare for my breakfast, to prepare on the family’s table but than I got run of money as usual. I’m so embrace with my parent’s when they visit us here, I just don’t know what to cook with cheap money. I couldn’t even buy some meat or even cook little steak for them. I opened my refrigerator to find some food from yesterday, well than I got this little bone with soup and nothing else besides rice.

But for me, I prefer not to eat at all, I just having my coffee and my cigarette which is bad for me. I can’t think more besides looking through my girl’s eyes, if she’s happy so do I. I don’t have a beautiful dreams, I just known that I was sleeping than awake because of my girl’s voices. She has to take a martial art’s test (silat), than tomorrow she has to go to Ballet class for training performance at May. I hope she’ll be fine. She has to sleepover in out there for martial art’s test. I believe she could do that.

My mom just visited me this morning, she asked me “what are you going to do this afternoon?” than I just smile, maybe I’m going to wait a little more longer to have a phone call from him or even his email which that’s not going to be exist. Most of all, I just pray and could be dreamer to have little conversation with him which he doesn’t want to contacting me forever. I’m so lost in Saturday when my friends doing so much fun with their family, I’m just getting a lot of movies to watch when my girl isn’t here for tonight.

And I got phone call from Honda which asking me to pay the rest and it’s not 10M, its supposed to be 13M, they need me to pay now. Oh My God, this is going to be kill me today. I kinda hit by a fast train, I can’t even live like this anymore. I’m stuck!!! God, please help me for just one day and release me from my misery. I just want to finish it with Pineapple, I dont want to get more involve with him anymore and I’m very pissed now. I’m going to stop continuing being so dumb, I just want him go go go from my life. I spent 13m for fixing car which is his fault but he doesn’t want to responsible for this, I have to pay transportation for my car from Bandung to Jakarta is 3m, than I have to spent my money 20m to fix Pineapple’s car (jeep), it’s total for 36M this month just for Pineapple’s mistakes, so miserable’s life. As usual, he could just laughing in the chair and not doing anythingg even just tell me “sorry” or “thank you” words. I’m a messed in the lovely morning. I dont know when I’m going to be really happy again with such a problems like this come all the time in my life.

For u, dear Elephant… if you really my friend, you should now be contacting me.

I know he will be reading my blog with a bunch of books in front of him and starting to laugh about my story or even he will be jump in to the cafe and just laughing with his friends when reading this. I just don’t know what is going to be this day or I’m going to be drawn in the water again or even sleeping for almost 24 hours in bed. Hopefully, I love to see that he could smile or even laughing when I felt so dying this day. 

So bang… (Elephant), are you happy now??? This is the real story been happening to me, do you know why I need you??? Do you know why I still need your support??? And why you??? Because only you who will make this better from the beginning, look what you done now, I’ve been very down and down and I dont even know I’m going to be fine for the next day or I might be laying in the hospital tomorrow.


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